Friday, December 12, 2014

Al-Fatihah Buat Ayah, 061214

Bagaimana mahu aku gambarkan anugerah itu.

Terkedu. Insaf.


Ketika dia perlu memilih wanita, harta, dan dunia.. dia pilih Allah. Dia percaya dan yakin, taqwa satu satunya jalan yang bahagia-abadi.

Lalu digoncangkan dia dengan ujian; dihilangkan isteri tercinta. Cerita tidak lagi seperti semalam tanpa hawa yang melengkapkan.

Namun mujahid tetap berpegang pada Tuhannya. Menggantungkan sepenuhnya pengharapan pada Allah. Percaya bahawa semuanya pinjaman yang bersifat sementara, tidak kekal.

Hilang berganti.

Ujian tidak pernah putus; hanya untuk mengangkat martabatnya sebagai hamba. Kuncinya taqwa. Dijemputnya anak yang dikasihi untuk berada di pintu syurga. Hilang buat kesekian kalinya. Dirinduinya setiap malam sebagai teman tidur, ditangisi bila bayangan itu hadir. 

"Allah, aku sudah tiada apa apa, semuanya milik Engkau, aku hanya ada Kau yang sentiasa ada; wujjud".

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Tuesday, October 14, 2014

I see something in you, but I don't know what it is. :)

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Sunday, August 31, 2014


Aku telah merelakan sepenuhnya,
memberi pelepasan semutlaknya,
membiarkan seluruhnya menjadi satu daerah kosong.

tiap detik waktunya, hati ini terlintas
tiap detik waktunya, hati ini menyebut
tiap detik waktunya, hati ini mencari
dan tiap detik waktunya, hati ini tidak pernah berhenti  untuk memohon.

Kerana sejauh mana kita dijarakkan oleh kedukaan dan kekecewaan,
aku masih sedar akan ketidakmahuan dan ketidakperluan sedikitpun pada diri ini.
Sebaliknya pada setiap jatuh dan bangunnya,
akulah yang paling berkehendakkan,
akulah yang paling memerlukan.

Maka dengan itu,
walau bisikan menyata tentang ketidaklayakan aku diterima kembali,
aku masih mahu percaya tentang kasihMu yang tiada bandingnya,
aku masih mahu percaya tentang cintaMu yang tiada henti.

Untuk halaman baru yang bersisa ini,
aku mengharap Engkau masih sudi memandangku,
aku mengharap Engkau masih sudi memelukku,
aku mengharap Engkau sudi memimpinku,
seperti sebelumnya.

hati ini sudah lama merindui Kamu.

NM. Amalina
Ogos '14
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Saturday, July 19, 2014

Ramadhan 21-- make plans, but understand that we live by Allah's grace.

kita mahukan sesuatu seperti apa yang kita mahu,
kita berkehendakan sesuatu seperti apa yang kita hendak.

maka datanglah kemahuan dan kehendak yang sama sekali bukan cara kita.

kita mengeluh.
kita merungut.
kita menolak kerana apa yang kita peroleh tidak sama seperti yang dimahu dan dihendak.


maafkan kami, tuhan.
janganlah engkau mengirakan kami salah jika kami lupa atau tersalah.
janganlah engkau pikulkan kepada kami apa yang kami tidak terdaya memikulnya.


percaya pada taqdir.

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Saturday, May 10, 2014

A Hero

It's struggle to become the man that you want to be.
It's harder than you want.
It's longer than you want.
And it takes more out of you than you expect that it should.

Good luck, heroes.
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Tuesday, April 22, 2014

The Perks of Being a Girlfriend

If I always do what I've always done,
then I will always get what I always got.

And while what I got had its perks,
I am looking for something different now.
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Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Mas, Wawa, & Memey

Date : March 7th & 8th, 2014
Location : Langkawi, Kedah
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PS (iii)

People may see it is an easy task because what you have to do is giving talk. Oh yes, giving talk may easy with a slide and information like your previous university life. What a major different is the audience.

The audience is totally a bunch of strangers that you have never met and you have never talk to. The challenge is you have to confide in them - which telling them how good your product is.

July 17th, 2013 | SMK Bedong | 7.45am

It was my first school I had to give a talk after school assembly.

"The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear." -Nelson Mandela

I finished my talk just about 10 minutes and I even didnt manage to take any picture there. Hoho that was my first day, man. Take it slow, :)

July 23rd 2013 | SMK Sg Layar | 12.30pm

The day before this second talk, I changed my slide a lot. I even wanted to put a video there (like Miss Chitra presentation hehe) but boss didn't allowed to.

But there was the unforgettable presentation ever - because I turned them into motivation talk lulz. *blushed-for-a-month*

Look, there were a lot of teacher amalina, they already know how to keep them up.
Oh yes? How'd you know? How'd you so sure?

July 29th, 2013 | SMK Darul Aman | 7:30am

God, I had to be there at 0730. That means I have to head up after Subuh.

That's life amalina - it needs you to be F1 driver sometimes.
Ok, challenge accepted.

July 30th, 2013 | SMK Syed Mohamed Al-Bukhary | 12.50pm

So I have learnt that when it comes to help people, I am very keen on that. I am very passionate to help students to achieve better grades in exam. That was my pure intention - which keep me going.

The experience of personally meeting the principals of each school and briefing secondary school students has in a way increased my self confidence and made me aware of my self potential. I learned how to convince people with the product that I had to offer.

Most importantly, I need to firmly believe that my company’s products could help the students to excel and to be of assistance for the school’s administrations.

July 31st, 2013 | SMK Che Tom | 7.00am

Okay, this was challenged talk ever because there were no slide, no images, no internet, no any multimedia elements at all to show them how the system works. What you only have just a piece of flyers to confide them.

As all passed, I think I did very well because at the night before it turned to August most of students had subscribed to the system. Oh, what a victory. :)

Even though at times I get so exhausted and tired due to my traveling from one school to another every day, I like what I am doing which is helping the students obtain better results in their academic achievements using a sophisticated and quite affordable system.

And not to forget, when there were no appointments, I went out for movie sometimes with her - the best partner to laugh with.

August 04th, 2013 | SMK Tunku Ismail | 11am

I got 3 slots there which 1100-1130, 1130-1200, and 1200-1230. This was my first talk companied by dato. He was there for many times actually as result collecting, product supplying, principal meeting, etc but this case was the first - giving talk together.

I think the best scene when I came up with dato was everyone called me Puan. Teachers treated me like their age and somehow I felt like I was someone's wife. Hehe :)


Being involved in marketing teaches me to work hard, be patient and optimistic. I realize that in order to become a successful businesswoman one day, I need to equip myself first with tacit and explicit knowledge. The learning process never ends. Frankly speaking, I want to keep on learning something new and the knowledge which I acquire will I use to the maximum in my future business endeavors.

End of PS chapters.

Take care,
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Sunday, March 23, 2014

PS (ii)

So lepas timbang tara, discuss dengan mak ayah, tanya pendapat dato, I choose to accept the offer sebab

1.I sendiri nak rasa how hard it is
2. I rasa I mampu
3. I love challenging works, and only few people can do it


Okay, untuk memastikan aku sentiasa motivated and optimistic.. aku akan selalu RT quotes kat twitter yang aku rasa relevant and related with my circumstances on that day. And actually I am not sure whether I find it, or these quotes finds me - to give me what I need when I need it.

So here they are,

Learning weeks (July 1st-13th, 2013)
1. "Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door." -Kak Ha
2. "You're braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." -Christopher Robin
3. "The world is difficult, it's a struggle; but it's the struggle that makes us stronger and brings us closer to our Lord." -Hamzaa Yusuf
4. Fa'iza 'azamta, fa tawakkal 'alallah. Setelah kamu bertekad, bertawakkal lah kepada Allah. (Ali Imran: 159)
5. "When life forces you to have problems, life forces you to learn, and learning forces you to grow." -iAmWise
6. Do not worry for anything. Pray for everything.

Day #1 (July 14th, 2013)
7. "In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun. You find the fun, and snap! The job's a game." -Mary Poppins
8. "The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain." -Dolly Parton
9. Rabbi yassir, wala tu'assir. -status update by Mai
10. "We can't treat people with disrespect and expect them to love us." -AbdulBary Yahya (Ini time kena REJECT dengan SMK Khir Johari)
11. "The only person you need to beat is the yesterday you." -Fynn Jamal (jadikan hari ini lebih baik dari hari semalam)
12. Terdidik sejak mula, tabah berusaha.. tanpa cuba melangkah tak kemana.. di mana kau berada, pencapaian tak tiba dengan mudahh... -Ella, Standing in The Eyes of The World

Day #2 (July 15th, 2013)
13. "Each morning, always choose to move forward and simply never give up." -GLW

Day #3 (July 16th, 2013)
14. Him do you cry for aid. -Quran (16:53)
15. Surely Allah has power over all things. -Quran (16:77)

Day #4 (July 17th, 2013) Ini first day kena bagi taklimat
16. "Ketakutan cuma hadir jika kita kurang/tidak bersedia." -Adi
17. "Don't run away from a challenge. Instead run toward it cause the only way to escape fear is to trample it beneath your feet." -Nadia Comaneci
18. "The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear." -Nelson Mandela

Day #5 (July 18th, 2013)
19. "Give. Even when you know you can get nothing back." -Yasmin Mogahed


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PS (i)

Dah dua post ada perkataan sebenarnya. Ini pun aku nak start dengan sebenarnya lulz.

So "sebenarnya" adalah satu perkataan yang kau nak bagitau apa yang tak dapat dizahirkan samada dengan perkataan, perbuatan, mahupun hati pada masa lalu. Past tense. Dah berlaku. Kalau belum terjadi, cemana kau nak cakap "sebenarnya" kan? #Logic


Waktu aku dapat call untuk interview, sebenarnya aku dalam kelas kat PLKN. Hari sabtu-yang-patutnya-cuti kot tak silap, or jumaat. Sebab dua hari tu je dapat pegang phone. I think it's on April sebab the week after that I balik bercuti untuk election day. So election was on May 5th, interview May 7th. Time tu I dah excited sebab 1st, I boleh extend my leave and 2nd, dengan dapatnya job tu inshaallah I boleh blah dari PLKN secepat yang mungkin. (That's was my pure hope)

May 7th, 2013. I went to the interview with Nuun and her bestie. Interview pukul 11am. Ended at 1.30pm, one and half hour kottt. Gila. And Nuun teased me "hoi aku ingat hang dah masuk kerja dah". Haha

It was worth when I got the job offered on that day on. :)

So why it took too long? Entah, yang I ingat sembang2 je la kot and boss ada call his brother yang kebetulan komandan PLKN and tanya pasal prosedur nak keluarkan I. Kat situ I memang dah happy gilaaa sebab macam ada harapan.


Tunggu punya tunggu, takda satu surat pun sampai kem either posted or faxes. 

Sedih, tapi I buat biasa ja that time. I macam dah tak kisah sangat - maybe sebab ada dato-sumber-inspirasi. :p


Ok, lepas habis PLKN I macam tak harap sangat boss akan call sebab I mati2 fikir boss dah cari orang lain.

At last, boss call suruh lapor diri on July 1st. 

Time tu I dah macam tak excited sangat sebab baru je balik dari PLKN on June 21st which a week je nak rest and then have to start work. Rasa berat. Plus, Ramadhan pun dah nak dekat. Kalau boleh I nak macam Ramadhan 2012 and 2011 which takda komitmen apa apa and everyday counted with a good deeds. Every moments of Ramadhan is precious.

So, I have to decide whether to reject or accept the offer...
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Saturday, March 22, 2014

Summary of 2013

Mengikut ritual kebiasaan orang, December adalah bulan untuk closing, balancing, achievements listing, lesson learning, and such related activities. Macam kebanyakkan organization. Begitu halnya dengan journal.

So 2013 sebenarnya banyak mengajar aku pasal faith, the ground of humility (humble), sabar, dan tawakal.

Dan summary tentang ini akan aku pecahkan kepada 3 part penting yang berlaku.

1. Career (PS)
2. Future (Study & Job Interviews)
3. Family (Ayah)


Summary of timeline:

January - Completed my bachelor
February, March - Cuti
April, May, June - PLKN & Convocation
July, August - Worked at SFFP Tech
September, October, November - Unemployed
December until now - Family

..I find it's hard to get you into the main story. I know you are there. It just me being encrypted.
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Friday, March 21, 2014



Sebenarnya agak payah untuk memulakan sesuatu yang dah lama kau tinggalkan.

Taip, backspace, taip, backspace. Clueless.

Tapi aku cuba, untuk diri sendiri, dan mungkin untuk tatapan anak cucu :p
Tak fikir untuk orang lain sangat pun sebenarnya, tapi memang untuk diri sendiri. Untuk 10, 20, 30, 40 tahun mendatang. Waktu tu aku akan tersenyum bangga dengan setiap kejadian hari ini.

Tapi yelah, dulu kan aku pernah cakap aku perlukan satu medium yang selesa, di mana interface, fonts, size, images semua tu diambil kira. Contoh kes: Total of posts tak sama dengan sidebar pun aku boleh hilang mood. 


Tapi takpa, aku akan cuba kutip balik semua yang pernah jadi even ada some peristiwa tu aku dah tak ingat date, subject, the feeling on that, people involved, etc. 

And aku pun nak minta maaf kat diri sendiri sebab tak hargai apa yang aku ada. Sorry amalina,

So yeah, this is first in 2014.
Till later..
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Saturday, September 7, 2013

Why I had to go to the PLKN?

Perbarisan Penutup PLKN Lagenda Seri Negeri, Langkawi

I received the call to enlist in the Malaysian National Service Training Programme. I asked for a deferment as I was studying for my Diploma in Computer Science at the Universiti Teknologi MARA (UiTM) Seri Iskandar, Perak at the time. The deferment was repeated yearly until I graduated. 

As soon as I graduated my bachelor degree in January 2013, the Department of National Service Training instructed me to undergo training at the Lagenda Seri Negeri Training Camp, Langkawi Island, Kedah in April 2013. 

During my stint there at the camp, I learned a lot of things which I have entered into my journal. First and foremost, the programme has instilled in me a deep sense of patriotism towards our nation and to defend the sovereignty of our country at all costs.


Pihak Kerajaan : Yang Berhormat, bagaimana dengan yakin YB simpulkan PLKN Bukan Pembina Jati Diri Remaja hanya dengan membaca artikel artikel kebencian dan permusuhan, yang umum tahu ianya sama sekali jauh dari fakta kebenaran.. atau YB dari meja pembangkang sendiri pernah menjalani PLKN? Tuan Yang Dipertua, saya amat berharap ketiga-tiga YB ini dari meja pembangkang terpilih untuk menjalani PLKN, lalu selepas 3 bulan kami di pihak kerajaan akan menyambut baik dengan usul baru mereka iaitu "Program Latihan Khidmat Negara (PLKN) Pembina Jati Diri Remaja".



Usul diterima. Program Latihan Khidmat Negara (PLKN) Pembina Jati Diri Remaja atas rasional;

1. perpaduan
2. pengukuhan jati diri remaja
3. pendekatan modul yang sesuai
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Friday, September 6, 2013

PLKN's Journal

April 5th 2013 / Friday

Suhana, Kak Ina, Kak Na and Mom sent me off to the PLKN Lagenda Seri Negeri Camp after we had spent some time riding the Cable Car and watched the 6D show at the cinema.

"Dia takpa, tegheyak (crying) keluaq air mata batu." said Suhana, describing me as being headstrong. Little did she know that deep inside, I was screaming my head off realizing that from now on, I'm not going to enjoy such pleasures.

April 6th 2013 / Saturday

Today is Suhana's birthday.

8:30 am   : TLDM Jetty, Langkawi. It's our first visit there as trainees.
12:30 pm : Lunch
1:30 pm  : Zohor. 

Tazkirah - faedah menyampaikan ilmu. Boleh jadi orang yang mendengar lebih memahami dari orang yang menyampaikan.

2:00 pm : Listen to Nouman Ali Khan's lecture

1. Whoever asks the question, he or she is the one in control over the conversation.
2. We are too occupied with defending Islam and clarifying what it is not when we should be explaining as to what Islam is all about.

4:30 pm   : Asar
6:30 pm   : Dinner
7:30 pm  : Maghrib. 

1. Iqra', bacalah dengan nama TuhanMu.
2. Sesungguhnya manusia itu melampaui batas kerana melihat dirinya serba cukup.

9:30 pm   : Roll call
11:30 pm : Sleep

April 7th 2013 / Sunday

8:45 am   : Modul Pembinaan Karakter (MPK) - Geramji
2:30 pm   : Marching

April 8th 2013 / Monday

8:45 am   : Modul Pembinaan Karakter (MPK) – Tuduh menuduh, Janji, Tanggungjawab
2:30 pm   : Marching
I am easily affected when someone shares with me about the tragedies in their life.
"Hold on, pray." -The Pacific. I don't know how long I have to hold on and pray. I can't hold anymore, but deep inside I know these hardest part will soon pass.
8:00 pm   : After Maghrib, I tested a few of the trainees from Charlie Company on their SMART solat. It's quite exciting as Ustazah has been treating me well.

April 9th 2013 / Tuesday

6:30 am   : Kuliah Subuh.

1. Peliharalah dirimu dan keluargamu dari azab api neraka. 
2. Bertaubat. 
3. Bertanggungjawab. 
4. Perbetulkan niat.

8:45 am  : Modul Pembinaan Karakter (MPK) – Aktiviti Kapal Terbang, Mesin, Membebaskan Kreativiti, Bendera Kumpulan
2:30 pm   : Marching, Photography Session
7:30 pm   : Woo me with the Kalimah of Allah, surely I would melt...

April 10th 2013 / Wednesday

8:45 am   : Modul Pembinaan Karakter (MPK) – Imej vs. Diri Sendiri, Gerak Asli

What I have learned from MPK (SAYA) :

1. Tanggungjawab - "We created humans for a purpose". Be responsible for yourself.
2. Menjadi pendengar yang baik - "Sometimes a thing that's meaningless to us means the whole world to others". Be attentive to others.
3. Imej vs. Diri Sendiri - "Be yourself!"
4. Janji - "Never break your promise!"
5. Pilihan - "Life is a choice and be proud of what you choose!"
6. Kreativiti - "Be more productive, be creative!"
7. Mustahil atau Boleh? - "Nothing is impossible! Just do it."
8. Sikap - "Be positive! Don't be tired of being nice."

April 11th 2013 / Thursday

Going back home, yeah!

April 13th 2013 / Saturday

PTD's exam

April 14th 2013 / Sunday

Week #2
I don't think I would be able to survive until the 21st of June. I don't have any problems with the people here, but I just feel lonely.
To empty one's heart does not mean not to love. It just means to free our heart from false attachments.

April 15th 2013 / Monday

8:45 am   : MPK (KITA) - Tanggungjawab dan Kepimpinan, Aktiviti Gula Gula (menang-menang, kalah menang, kalah kalah)
Generation Gap. I forgot to add some important points in the PTD exam yesterday. The points that I have experienced myself.
Somehow I miss talking about the current politics with Athi. Athi, the intelligent one who can handle my political thoughts. The saddest moment here was when I kept everything bottled inside. I am very sleepy...... maybe later.
I know, it's not good to keep asking why God sent me here... because God knows best, He created us for a purpose. But why me? Why do I have to face this? 

In The Secret, the author asks us to focus on good things.
2:30 pm   : Taklimat Pertolongan Cemas (PC) for 3 days April 15-17th

D = Danger
R = Response
C = Chest Compression
A = Airway
B = Breathing

April 16th 2013 / Tuesday

8:00 am   : Perasmian PLKN Kumpulan 2 Siri 10/2013
10:00 am : Already at the dorm
1. Why must we complain when we have God to turn to?
2. Sihatkanlah aku sebagaimana mereka yang telah Engkau sihatkan.
3. Only God is my survival.
2:30 pm   : Taklimat PC

1. Jenis-jenis berdarah – luar dan dalam
2. Punca berdarah – salur nadi (artery), salur pembuluh (vein), salur perambut (capillary), primary hemorrhage, reactionary, and secondary.
3. Jenis-jenis luka – incised wound and lacerated wound (luka terkoyak).
4. Renjatan
5. Patah - tertutup dan terbuka
6. Balutan
The First Aid briefing is actually quite boring but it's so much more bearable than marching at the field. Anyway, there's just two more days to go till the weekend. My comfort days, Fridays and Saturdays.
The human being is a very complex Creation where no one can explain in detail the way Allah has created us. I just cry out glorifying Allah for every amazing aspect of our being, Subhanallah. Most Pure is He.
"For those who think."

April 17th 2013 / Wednesday

8:45 am   : MPK (KITA) - Saya Betul, Sumbangan, Aktiviti Fugel
8:30 pm   : Kuliah maghrib. 

Kesan-kesan terhadap individu apabila menjadi muslimah sejati :
1. Mengutamakan Allah dalam segala hal
2. Zuhud - tidak cintakan dunia dan segala isinya
Today I found that Allah is sufficient for us. Allah is enough.
Tuhan, don't leave me alone. I miss Min, Lehon, Sheilon, Wada and Athi. I miss them so much that I just couldn't find any words to describe the feeling. :( Tuhan, please relieve me of my sadness. I can't handle it. Demi Tuhan, I miss them a lot. T_T
Kids are always quite concerned about the small matters in their life. They tend to gossip, blame others for this and that, etc. Even I am unable to adapt myself to the way things are over here. I have been conditioned to be selfish over the years, to mind my own business, not to place my hope on others, to just focus on myself and handle my own affairs. How am I supposed to change this attitude overnight? Not that I have ignored my friends. Just that I am used to dealing with my own needs and learn to integrate myself with those around me.
The challenge I have to face here is to keep everything to myself without sharing or depending on anyone. I have to be self-reliant. There are no ways for me to communicate or share my thoughts, ideas or special moments with those around me here for they would not understand. It's the generation gap. Deep inside I suffer on my own. I know that I can't argue, rebel against or raise a complaint because it wouldn't change the circumstances I find myself caught within. I have no choice but to survive on my own.
My heart is devastated. Forgive me Lord for having wasted the opportunity to share with others just how good You are. I promise you that if I were to be someone successful, I will not waste any time in leading others to You again. Deep in my heart, I have always wanted to lead people in worshiping You. I have always harbored the wish to enlighten others as to how Merciful You are. I yearn to be a leader because it's the only way I can improve myself at the same time.

I have nothing whereas You My Lord are everything. I have nothing of my own. All that I have are Yours. Please protect my parents. Forgive them of all their errors. Keep them in good health. 

May we all meet in Paradise.

April 18th 2013 / Thursday

8:45 am   : MPK (KITA) - Matlamat, Mencapai Keputusan, Persembahan

Matlamat - "Everyone can dream".

1. Understanding the whole contents of the Al-Qur'an and putting it to practice.
2. Performing the Umrah and Hajj.
3. Work with an established company and gain working experience for at least 10 years.
4. At age 33, be able to start my own company.
5. Become a leader – Show people the Way of Life, enlighten others as to how Merciful Allah is.
6. Get married (?)
7. Be a productive Muslimah and end up with a successful Mukmin.
8. Meet in person Yasmin Mogahed and Nouman Ali Khan.
9. Become a writer.

Things I have learned:
1. People might not believe in what you say but they will believe in what you do.
2. Well done is much better than well said. 
11:30 pm   : I wish to write more here but I am just too tired...... so till later then. Good night.

April 19th 2013 / Friday

I gossiped to someone about him a few days ago. Now, I feel like she will spill the beans! I know I am supposed to trust no one here but I just can't seal my lips. I am just human and was a bit too excited and careless back then!
1. "You are the apple of my eye." - someone
2. Come to think of someone who tends to use logical mumbo jumbo when he talks.
3. I feel pity for my parents when my siblings and I left the nest.
Now I can accept the facts for the purpose that I am now here. I would spend my good and bad times for the sake of Allah. I believe Allah has planned something better for me. I will face no matter what comes my way because deep inside I am expecting much more worse than this. :)
They ask me why their boyfriends cannot love only one person? An individual who is already involved with someone else shouldn't belong to another, should they?

Of course an individual shouldn't belong to another but the idea that the individual can only love one person at any one time is somewhat artificial and false – a situation coming out of a particular time, place, and culture.

April 20th 2013 / Saturday

1. Beauty is skin deep.
2. I am family oriented.
2. I am not dependent on the phone. I can live without telephones but I just can't live without the internet. Surprisingly, I can still survive!
4. We gain knowledge not just for today and only God knows when we will get to use it.
8: 00 am   : Meeting with the Commandant.

Today I found myself a bit nervous when I had to speak before a group of people.  It's been quite some since I spoke before a crowd or felt comfortable with a new audience.

How was their response? The response was quite good actually and from that I now know who my true friends are.

2:30 pm   : Financial Management (

1. Money is not everything but everything needs money.
2. Pendapatan aktif + pendapatan pasif
3. Masuk > Keluar = Lebihan Tunai
4. Keluar < Masuk = Defisit Tunai
5. Live within your means

5:00 pm   : Laughing out loud! I heard through the grapevine that some people had been talking behind my back regarding my opinions (read: complain) this morning. LOL. Things that they will never know or understand :

1. I once gave my opinion or criticism about my History Teacher (during Form 4). Later, all the teachers were gossiping about me at the Teachers Room.  LOL!  But looking at the bright side, my History Teacher amended her style of teaching and I got better grades in History.
2. I just focus on good things. I am too engaged with what I do and have no time to waste and be bothered with what people talk behind me.
3. Get into trouble, make mistakes, and learn from them. :)
4. We can't change the response that we would receive but we can change the way how we handle them. :)
5. People will never stop talking. That's nature. Just laugh it away! Hahaha
6. Regardless of all the above, I am okay.

April 21st 2013 / Sunday

1. Once you begin to see everything beautiful as only a reflection of God's beauty, you will learn to love in the right way - for His sake.
2. Everything and everyone you love will be for, through and because of Him.
3. Sungguh, perjalanan ini amat meletihkan kecuali bagi orang-orang yang bersabar.
4. Apalah gunanya bila di jiwa kita masih lagi hijau dan mentah...
5. Quiet people - They never share anything about their work until it gets accomplished.

End of MPK (KITA).
2:30 pm   : Sukan Kreativiti

April 22nd 2013 / Monday

8:45 am   : Modul Budaya Kerja (MBK) – Peningkatan produktiviti, Pembentukan organisasi
2:30 pm   : Sukan Kreativiti
8 days left. It's time to let go of all attachments. :( Being at the office, which always made me happy, having the relevant people there and everything else that I have so come to love but have to let go for the sake of Allah. It hurt me a bit when Madam was so harsh this morning. Same with Ustazah. Today is a perplexing day. Were my mistakes that big? I am sorry, I never meant to be critic but I had to just because I don't want to meet Allah in a sweaty way and I prefer to spend at least 10 minutes a day in reciting the Quran rather than be punished by having to climb up and down the stairs. I feel so sorry for being myself...

April 23rd 2013 / Tuesday

8:45 am   : Modul Budaya Kerja (MBK) – 10 Budaya Kerja, Soalan, Temuduga

1. Menepati Masa
2. Kemahiran Teknologi
3. Kreatif
4. Fasih Berbahasa
5. Integriti
6. Terbuka
7. Ahli Pasukan
8. Kepimpinan
9. Komited
10. Bertanggungjawab

2:30 pm : Ikhtiar Hidup Perkhemahan (IHP) – Jerat, Survival Food, Pondok

If I could just turn back time...

I hate having to enter the jungle! I hate wearing this camouflage! I hate such activities in the jungle! I hate camping!!

And I hate Izzuddin from the very first time I met him!
Kids always think that they are wiser when they are friends with many people. That's not true, kid! Search for the real one - who is there to back you up when you fall. 

It's also true that if you wanted to see how smart one is by first listening to his or her words. Then you will know what's on their mind. 

So who are the good minds for you to keep company with? Bebear, Fatin, Hema, Thatchu, Ana, Leeda and Asma. I like them just because they don't talk that much. They are good listeners. They talk only when necessary.

April 24th 2013 / Wednesday

8:45 am   : Modul Budaya Kerja (MBK) – 5 Jenis Pengamal, Origami Burung, Pameran
2:30 pm   : Ikhtiar Hidup Perkhemahan (IHP) @ Camping Survival Skills (CSS) – Masak, SOS, Khemah

Today is the second day of CSS. I don't find anything interesting about that. Camping is okay, but it's not really my cup of tea. I prefer indoor activities. Oh yes, it's just a week more to be back home. Hold on.

SOS – Source of Soul
1. Calm down 2. Use compass 3. Cari sungai 4. Cermin 5. Api 6. Isyarat batu 7. Pokok 8. Baju 9. Wisel – 6x tiupan pendek, pause, 6x tiupan pendek 10. Torchlight 11. Bentuk –V (kami memerlukan bantuan), X (ada mangsa cedera), I (kami memerlukan doktor), II (kami memerlukan bantuan perubatan, F (Food)
A day before my period, I led the Maghrib prayers at the dorm. Since then, they called me Imam LOL. They also call me CEO just because I was the CEO of Fruits & Flowers Company during the Work Ethics Module @ Modul Budaya Kerja but most of the adik-adik here called me Kak Lina, Kak Lin or just Kak.

April 25th 2013 / Thursday

8:45 am   : Modul Budaya Kerja (MBK) – Pameran, Erti Terima Kasih

I wrote 3 separate letters to Mak, Ayah, and Suhana when it was time for us to write "Thank You" letters. I was given a limited time to write everything but it never stopped me from saying "Thank you". Thank you Mak! Thank you Ayah! Thank you Suhana!

Come to think of it, I am not supposed to let Mak, Ayah, and Suhana know! Embarrassed... because I wrote it wholeheartedly! I cried while I was writing those letters. Sigh, so ashamed.

1. There is comfort in knowing that Someone always sees our struggles.
2. He is closer than our own self.

12:00 pm   : Lawatan Ketua Pengarah JLKN, Dato' Abdul Hadi

Back when I was a kid, I used to wonder why people must greet VIP's like that. We are all the same people. There's no difference between us at all.

1. Strange are the Believers. They see good in bad things. They grateful for the little that they get and are patient during every hardship.
2. "Stay positive. Open your heart to accept it". - Dato' Abdul Hadi
3. "Focus on good things". -The Secret

Cikgu Mai and Ustazah teased me that I will become famous when I am shown on the RTM news tonight. It doesn't mean anything to me.

2:30 pm   : Ikhtiar Hidup Perkhemahan (IHP) – Navigasi & Kompas

April 26th 2013 / Friday

When Suhana didn't tell Mak and Ayah, I was devastated. I felt like how could Suhana do this? :( The other disappointing thing was why there was no such email from UOB? Why they promising me this and that? :(

April 27th 2013 / Saturday

Woke up early today and settled my laundry. Went to have breakfast at 8 am and got my BSN ATM card.

April 28th 2013 / Sunday

8:45 am   : Modul Kesejahteraan Hidup (MKH) – Jantina, Kekeluargaan
The results for Form 6 and Matriculation were announced and I realized that everyone whom I was close to were going to leave me. Bebear got her Matriculation at Johor, Hema got hers in Perak, and Fatin was accepted for Matriculation in Pahang. Just when you were getting closer to someone, they are forced to leave you. But I am okay because I know people are bound to just keep coming and going.

1:30 pm  : Tazkirah Zohor

1. Selalu solat Subuh dan Isya' berjemaah 
2. Solat 2 rakaat sebelum subuh lebih baik daripada apa yang ada dalam isi dunia.

2:30 pm   : Ikhtiar Hidup Perkhemahan (IHP) – Mengelak Halangan & Ukur Jarak
You can do anything to me. Break me, shake me but don't ever leave me without ink and paper.

April 29th 2013 / Monday

8:45 am   : Modul Kesejahteraan Hidup (MKH) – Pembangunan Kemahiran, Hidup Tanpa Keganasan, Pelan Tindakan

April 30th 2013 / Tuesday

8:00 am : Going back home!

May 5th 2013 / Sunday

General Election 2013

May 7th 2013 / Tuesday

Interview (SFFP Technology and Consultant)

May 8th 2013 / Wednesday

May 11th 2013 / Saturday

Program Penghayatan Sastera & Budaya (PPSB)

All I could think about PPSB was how nice it was when everyone applauded for me!

"Bila orang puji kita, kembalikan pujian itu kepada Allah dengan mengucapkan Alhamdulillah." -Ayah

You don't own anything. Allah does.

May 12th 2013 / Sunday

8:00 am   : Netball training
2:30 pm   : I was exempted from swimming class today! Yeay! MC
I've read about half of the book now and it's been pretty good so far. :)

May 13th 2013 / Monday

8:00 am   : Sports Carnival
Last night I was reminded about the 6th Principle of Faith @ Rukun Iman (Qada dan Qadar) which made me realize just how lucky I am to be having someone who always reminds me about Almighty Allah.

May 14th 2013 / Tuesday

8:00 am   : AADK Programme

The Uda and Dara stories made me think... We always blame the Decider without thinking about Qada and Qadar. Did the decider want it to be that way? Did the decider ask to be placed there? So, who should we blame now? Should we blame God?

This is normally what society tends to think. They would blame you as the one who's guilty. They never look at the bright side and consider those problems as a test from Him.

2:45 pm   : AADK Programme
1. If somebody likes me, I want them to like the real me, not what they imagine me to be.
2. She has God to give her value; she doesn't need a man to do this.

May 15th 2013 / Wednesday

8:00 am   : Taklimat Sambung Belajar
2:30 pm   : Latihan Tali Tinggi

May 16th 2013 / Thursday

Going back home. Convocation's day just around the corner!

May 18th 2013 / Saturday

Pre Convocation

May 20th 2013 / Monday

My big day

May 25th 2013 / Saturday

Hi. Sorry for my hiatus for a while. It seems that a week has gone past without me jotting down anything. Yeah, people always say that you will run out of ideas if you're feeling happy and it's just like a machine gun shooting out bullets when you write in an emotional state of mind. That's true. It happened to me just now. 


May 26th 2013 / Sunday

Everyone that I was close to were leaving. Fatin, Bebear, Hema, and Yaya. This leaves Bravo (B) with just 9 trainees and Bravo (A) 11 trainees. As such Bravo company were asked to move in to the Alpha (B) dorm which is nearer to the Dining Hall @ Dewan Makan (DM). 

Everyone was a bit upset when we were asked to move because they were getting attached to the Bravo block from day one. I didn't mind at all. But due to such a move, it would be quite a distance from the surau which made me feel not that keen. The good thing was being nearer to the Dining Hall @ DM! Hehehe.

The annoying thing about moving to the new dorm is the irritating loud speaker which keeps  squawking out its announcements every now and then. Huh

May 27th 2013 / Monday

8:30 am   : Kelas Kenegaraan - menyemai semangat patriotisme
I miss Allah. I really wanted to feel like this - being so attached to Him. Forgive me God for the weeks that I forgot You. I never meant it. 

"Permudahkanlah jalan ini, hanya kepadaMu aku berharap". Here, I am, Amalina who was ready to let go all attachments which made my heart sink. Sorry, there's something much more greater than to love and be loved.

"Letakkanlah kami di tempat yang terbaik di dunia dan di akhirat". Tuhan, maafkanlah kami atas kesilapan kami. Janganlah Engkau menghukum kami. I am so moved. I really hope Allah will send someone new to help me in this journey in remembering Allah. Always.

June 2nd 2013 / Sunday

Today is the Elections day. That means every registered voter contributes to cast their vote to form the government. And we are allowed to dress up. Thatchu, Ram and I just wore our tracksuits and T-shirts while others were all so dolled up. I found Cikgu Linda to be a very nice and kind person. I love her way.

Talking about elections, it's reminds me of my ex UiTM Seri Iskandar Campus Director, Prof Dr. Abdullah Said. First thing that he would ask during the interview is, "Have you registered as a voter?" If we had yet to, he would say, "If you can't do such a simple thing as this for the country, how can I trust you with an important position?".

It's all about responsibility and accountability.

June 3rd 2013 / Monday

Aku bukanlah seorang perwira, gagah menghunus senjata, namun aku rela berjuang, walau dengan cara sendiri, demi cinta ini.... This is not a typical programme you know! It's not.

I am a kind of person who owns a soft heart. It's very easy to touch. Yes, when Cikgu Farah told us the 'Leftenan Adnan' story... deep inside, I cried. I saw that both Cikgu Linda and Cikgu Farah cried as well. It made me so emotional. Oh Tuhan, Kau rahmatilah perjuangan Leftenan Adnan.

I am so worried about the future of my country. What would happen if there are no more good leaders? And what do you have to give to your country? And who would make sure everything is fine?

I must give something to my own country! I love this country, I love our freedom, I love Malaysia. I don't want to be occupied again. I don't want to see my future children suffer in their own land. Please give me a hand to save this country.

June 4th 2013 / Tuesday

It made me feel so disappointed when all the efforts that we did during such a long time gets destroyed in a blink of the eye. "Betapa perpaduan itu mudah untuk disebut tapi susah untuk dilaksanakan." -Tunku Abdul Rahman. It made me realize that everything would be lost if we are not united and fight for what we love!

June 6th 2013 / Thursday

I totally enjoyed the Nationhood Module and gave my 100% involvement. It's good to know that I was completely at ease and made each day count. It's just 15 more days to go. So what have I gained? Quite a lot, I must say!

1. Getting closer to Allah – praying in congregation, reciting the Quran, Subuh sessions and deliberations.
2. All other nice people
3. National Patriotism – DKRT
4. Met all kinds of people
5. Sisterhood
6. Gave and learned something

Why is it that when we have met someone who suits us, circumstances would not give us the opportunity to get together? And why is it that when the situation seems good, we seldom get to meet someone who suit us? Why?
I quite miss my parents.      

June 9th 2013 / Sunday

8:00 am   : Khidmat Komuniti – Gotong Royong at LISRAM

It's depends on you how you treat people. Personally, I feel that depending on how nice or bad you had been treating others, you will get its retribution.  And no matter how you get caught up in life, keep on going braving it. Keep your head up and move on.

2:30 pm : Dry Run - Latihan Kering

June 11th 2013 / Tuesday

1. There is a saying that "time heals all wounds", and so it was with me.
2. I was crazy about his smile!
3. Whenever I went to the Dining Hall @ DM, I kept on hoping that I would get to see him.
4. I had this feeling all the time that something fine would grow between us. :)

June 14th 2013 / Friday

7 days more to go. Oh God, I can't wait to get out from here. Well, I am already missing home.
Midnight: There are warnings that something is wrong. I need to detach. I really wanted to detach from all false attachments. I am a bit upset actually but no worries, I can still handle it.

June 15th 2013 / Saturday

I refuse to write a lot today because I am not in a good mood. Surely I will curse in my writing. Yeah, it's quite upsetting today because we didn't get back our phones. Pity me and friends.

My hatred towards the TKP is increased to a higher level now. I hate him so very much! Pergi mampus kau! We have not even been notified the reasons why we are not getting back our phones. Heartless and very cruel is the TKP. I would not forgive him to the day that I shall die!

If the reason was due to some crucial cases before in the camp, why you have to be unjust to innocent people like us? Why???  Your heart stinks and is so cruel!!

See! I hate to write when my heart is full with hatred.
I don't know if it's mixed feeling or not. I am actually upset about 2 things.

I am not going to put my heart in the same spot again where it was hurt so many, many times before. Yes, I am such a pessimist.
What I didn't realize is that all the pain I had experienced in life was due to one thing and one thing only - love of this earthly life!

June 16th 2013 / Sunday

1. It's horrible to know that you can never really confide in people, even to those nearest to you.
2. I am longing, so longing for everything. To be able to talk, for freedom, for friends, to be alone. And I do so long.... to cry! I feel as if I am going to burst, and I know that it would get better with crying but I can't.
3. I desperately want to be alone.
4. My head is haunted by so many wishes and thoughts, accusations and reproaches.

June 20th 2013 / Thursday

June 21st 2013 / Friday

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