Friday, December 12, 2014

Al-Fatihah Buat Ayah, 061214


Bagaimana mahu aku gambarkan anugerah itu.

Terkedu. Insaf.

***

Ketika dia perlu memilih wanita, harta, dan dunia.. dia pilih Allah. Dia percaya dan yakin, taqwa satu satunya jalan yang bahagia-abadi.

Lalu digoncangkan dia dengan ujian; dihilangkan isteri tercinta. Cerita tidak lagi seperti semalam tanpa hawa yang melengkapkan.

Namun mujahid tetap berpegang pada Tuhannya. Menggantungkan sepenuhnya pengharapan pada Allah. Percaya bahawa semuanya pinjaman yang bersifat sementara, tidak kekal.

Hilang berganti.

Ujian tidak pernah putus; hanya untuk mengangkat martabatnya sebagai hamba. Kuncinya taqwa. Dijemputnya anak yang dikasihi untuk berada di pintu syurga. Hilang buat kesekian kalinya. Dirinduinya setiap malam sebagai teman tidur, ditangisi bila bayangan itu hadir. 

"Allah, aku sudah tiada apa apa, semuanya milik Engkau, aku hanya ada Kau yang sentiasa ada; wujjud".

***
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Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Sunday, August 31, 2014

Ogos

Aku telah merelakan sepenuhnya,
memberi pelepasan semutlaknya,
membiarkan seluruhnya menjadi satu daerah kosong.

Sedang..
tiap detik waktunya, hati ini terlintas
tiap detik waktunya, hati ini menyebut
tiap detik waktunya, hati ini mencari
dan tiap detik waktunya, hati ini tidak pernah berhenti  untuk memohon.

Kerana sejauh mana kita dijarakkan oleh kedukaan dan kekecewaan,
aku masih sedar akan ketidakmahuan dan ketidakperluan sedikitpun pada diri ini.
Sebaliknya pada setiap jatuh dan bangunnya,
akulah yang paling berkehendakkan,
akulah yang paling memerlukan.

Maka dengan itu,
walau bisikan menyata tentang ketidaklayakan aku diterima kembali,
aku masih mahu percaya tentang kasihMu yang tiada bandingnya,
aku masih mahu percaya tentang cintaMu yang tiada henti.

Untuk halaman baru yang bersisa ini,
aku mengharap Engkau masih sudi memandangku,
aku mengharap Engkau masih sudi memelukku,
aku mengharap Engkau sudi memimpinku,
seperti sebelumnya.

Kerana,
hati ini sudah lama merindui Kamu.

NM. Amalina
Ogos '14
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Saturday, July 19, 2014

Ramadhan 21-- make plans, but understand that we live by Allah's grace.

kita mahukan sesuatu seperti apa yang kita mahu,
kita berkehendakan sesuatu seperti apa yang kita hendak.

maka datanglah kemahuan dan kehendak yang sama sekali bukan cara kita.

kita mengeluh.
kita merungut.
kita menolak kerana apa yang kita peroleh tidak sama seperti yang dimahu dan dihendak.

xxxxxxxx

maafkan kami, tuhan.
janganlah engkau mengirakan kami salah jika kami lupa atau tersalah.
janganlah engkau pikulkan kepada kami apa yang kami tidak terdaya memikulnya.

xxxxxxxx

percaya pada taqdir.


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Saturday, May 10, 2014

A Hero

It's struggle to become the man that you want to be.
It's harder than you want.
It's longer than you want.
And it takes more out of you than you expect that it should.

Good luck, heroes.
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Tuesday, April 22, 2014

The Perks of Being a Girlfriend

If I always do what I've always done,
then I will always get what I always got.

And while what I got had its perks,
I am looking for something different now.
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Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Mas, Wawa, & Memey















Date : March 7th & 8th, 2014
Location : Langkawi, Kedah
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PS (iii)

People may see it is an easy task because what you have to do is giving talk. Oh yes, giving talk may easy with a slide and information like your previous university life. What a major different is the audience.

The audience is totally a bunch of strangers that you have never met and you have never talk to. The challenge is you have to confide in them - which telling them how good your product is.

July 17th, 2013 | SMK Bedong | 7.45am

It was my first school I had to give a talk after school assembly.

"The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear." -Nelson Mandela

I finished my talk just about 10 minutes and I even didnt manage to take any picture there. Hoho that was my first day, man. Take it slow, :)



July 23rd 2013 | SMK Sg Layar | 12.30pm

The day before this second talk, I changed my slide a lot. I even wanted to put a video there (like Miss Chitra presentation hehe) but boss didn't allowed to.

But there was the unforgettable presentation ever - because I turned them into motivation talk lulz. *blushed-for-a-month*

Look, there were a lot of teacher amalina, they already know how to keep them up.
Oh yes? How'd you know? How'd you so sure?
=="

July 29th, 2013 | SMK Darul Aman | 7:30am

God, I had to be there at 0730. That means I have to head up after Subuh.

That's life amalina - it needs you to be F1 driver sometimes.
Ok, challenge accepted.


July 30th, 2013 | SMK Syed Mohamed Al-Bukhary | 12.50pm

So I have learnt that when it comes to help people, I am very keen on that. I am very passionate to help students to achieve better grades in exam. That was my pure intention - which keep me going.

The experience of personally meeting the principals of each school and briefing secondary school students has in a way increased my self confidence and made me aware of my self potential. I learned how to convince people with the product that I had to offer.

Most importantly, I need to firmly believe that my company’s products could help the students to excel and to be of assistance for the school’s administrations.

July 31st, 2013 | SMK Che Tom | 7.00am

Okay, this was challenged talk ever because there were no slide, no images, no internet, no any multimedia elements at all to show them how the system works. What you only have just a piece of flyers to confide them.

As all passed, I think I did very well because at the night before it turned to August most of students had subscribed to the system. Oh, what a victory. :)


Even though at times I get so exhausted and tired due to my traveling from one school to another every day, I like what I am doing which is helping the students obtain better results in their academic achievements using a sophisticated and quite affordable system.

And not to forget, when there were no appointments, I went out for movie sometimes with her - the best partner to laugh with.


August 04th, 2013 | SMK Tunku Ismail | 11am

I got 3 slots there which 1100-1130, 1130-1200, and 1200-1230. This was my first talk companied by dato. He was there for many times actually as result collecting, product supplying, principal meeting, etc but this case was the first - giving talk together.

I think the best scene when I came up with dato was everyone called me Puan. Teachers treated me like their age and somehow I felt like I was someone's wife. Hehe :)

xxxxxxxxxxx

Being involved in marketing teaches me to work hard, be patient and optimistic. I realize that in order to become a successful businesswoman one day, I need to equip myself first with tacit and explicit knowledge. The learning process never ends. Frankly speaking, I want to keep on learning something new and the knowledge which I acquire will I use to the maximum in my future business endeavors.

End of PS chapters.

Take care,
xoxo
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Sunday, March 23, 2014

PS (ii)

So lepas timbang tara, discuss dengan mak ayah, tanya pendapat dato, I choose to accept the offer sebab

1.I sendiri nak rasa how hard it is
2. I rasa I mampu
3. I love challenging works, and only few people can do it


xxxx

Okay, untuk memastikan aku sentiasa motivated and optimistic.. aku akan selalu RT quotes kat twitter yang aku rasa relevant and related with my circumstances on that day. And actually I am not sure whether I find it, or these quotes finds me - to give me what I need when I need it.

So here they are,

Learning weeks (July 1st-13th, 2013)
1. "Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door." -Kak Ha
2. "You're braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." -Christopher Robin
3. "The world is difficult, it's a struggle; but it's the struggle that makes us stronger and brings us closer to our Lord." -Hamzaa Yusuf
4. Fa'iza 'azamta, fa tawakkal 'alallah. Setelah kamu bertekad, bertawakkal lah kepada Allah. (Ali Imran: 159)
5. "When life forces you to have problems, life forces you to learn, and learning forces you to grow." -iAmWise
6. Do not worry for anything. Pray for everything.

Day #1 (July 14th, 2013)
7. "In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun. You find the fun, and snap! The job's a game." -Mary Poppins
8. "The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain." -Dolly Parton
9. Rabbi yassir, wala tu'assir. -status update by Mai
10. "We can't treat people with disrespect and expect them to love us." -AbdulBary Yahya (Ini time kena REJECT dengan SMK Khir Johari)
11. "The only person you need to beat is the yesterday you." -Fynn Jamal (jadikan hari ini lebih baik dari hari semalam)
12. Terdidik sejak mula, tabah berusaha.. tanpa cuba melangkah tak kemana.. di mana kau berada, pencapaian tak tiba dengan mudahh... -Ella, Standing in The Eyes of The World

Day #2 (July 15th, 2013)
13. "Each morning, always choose to move forward and simply never give up." -GLW

Day #3 (July 16th, 2013)
14. ...to Him do you cry for aid. -Quran (16:53)
15. Surely Allah has power over all things. -Quran (16:77)

Day #4 (July 17th, 2013) Ini first day kena bagi taklimat
16. "Ketakutan cuma hadir jika kita kurang/tidak bersedia." -Adi
17. "Don't run away from a challenge. Instead run toward it cause the only way to escape fear is to trample it beneath your feet." -Nadia Comaneci
18. "The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear." -Nelson Mandela

Day #5 (July 18th, 2013)
19. "Give. Even when you know you can get nothing back." -Yasmin Mogahed

xxxx

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PS (i)

Dah dua post ada perkataan sebenarnya. Ini pun aku nak start dengan sebenarnya lulz.

So "sebenarnya" adalah satu perkataan yang kau nak bagitau apa yang tak dapat dizahirkan samada dengan perkataan, perbuatan, mahupun hati pada masa lalu. Past tense. Dah berlaku. Kalau belum terjadi, cemana kau nak cakap "sebenarnya" kan? #Logic

xxx

Waktu aku dapat call untuk interview, sebenarnya aku dalam kelas kat PLKN. Hari sabtu-yang-patutnya-cuti kot tak silap, or jumaat. Sebab dua hari tu je dapat pegang phone. I think it's on April sebab the week after that I balik bercuti untuk election day. So election was on May 5th, interview May 7th. Time tu I dah excited sebab 1st, I boleh extend my leave and 2nd, dengan dapatnya job tu inshaallah I boleh blah dari PLKN secepat yang mungkin. (That's was my pure hope)

May 7th, 2013. I went to the interview with Nuun and her bestie. Interview pukul 11am. Ended at 1.30pm, one and half hour kottt. Gila. And Nuun teased me "hoi aku ingat hang dah masuk kerja dah". Haha

It was worth when I got the job offered on that day on. :)

So why it took too long? Entah, yang I ingat sembang2 je la kot and boss ada call his brother yang kebetulan komandan PLKN and tanya pasal prosedur nak keluarkan I. Kat situ I memang dah happy gilaaa sebab macam ada harapan.

xxx

Tunggu punya tunggu, takda satu surat pun sampai kem either posted or faxes. 

Sedih, tapi I buat biasa ja that time. I macam dah tak kisah sangat - maybe sebab ada dato-sumber-inspirasi. :p

xxx

Ok, lepas habis PLKN I macam tak harap sangat boss akan call sebab I mati2 fikir boss dah cari orang lain.

At last, boss call suruh lapor diri on July 1st. 

Time tu I dah macam tak excited sangat sebab baru je balik dari PLKN on June 21st which a week je nak rest and then have to start work. Rasa berat. Plus, Ramadhan pun dah nak dekat. Kalau boleh I nak macam Ramadhan 2012 and 2011 which takda komitmen apa apa and everyday counted with a good deeds. Every moments of Ramadhan is precious.

So, I have to decide whether to reject or accept the offer...
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Saturday, March 22, 2014

Summary of 2013

Mengikut ritual kebiasaan orang, December adalah bulan untuk closing, balancing, achievements listing, lesson learning, and such related activities. Macam kebanyakkan organization. Begitu halnya dengan journal.

So 2013 sebenarnya banyak mengajar aku pasal faith, the ground of humility (humble), sabar, dan tawakal.

Dan summary tentang ini akan aku pecahkan kepada 3 part penting yang berlaku.

1. Career (PS)
2. Future (Study & Job Interviews)
3. Family (Ayah)

xxx

Summary of timeline:

January - Completed my bachelor
February, March - Cuti
April, May, June - PLKN & Convocation
July, August - Worked at SFFP Tech
September, October, November - Unemployed
December until now - Family

..I find it's hard to get you into the main story. I know you are there. It just me being encrypted.
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Friday, March 21, 2014

2014

Assalamualaikum.

Sebenarnya agak payah untuk memulakan sesuatu yang dah lama kau tinggalkan.

Taip, backspace, taip, backspace. Clueless.

Tapi aku cuba, untuk diri sendiri, dan mungkin untuk tatapan anak cucu :p
Tak fikir untuk orang lain sangat pun sebenarnya, tapi memang untuk diri sendiri. Untuk 10, 20, 30, 40 tahun mendatang. Waktu tu aku akan tersenyum bangga dengan setiap kejadian hari ini.

Tapi yelah, dulu kan aku pernah cakap aku perlukan satu medium yang selesa, di mana interface, fonts, size, images semua tu diambil kira. Contoh kes: Total of posts tak sama dengan sidebar pun aku boleh hilang mood. 

xxx

Tapi takpa, aku akan cuba kutip balik semua yang pernah jadi even ada some peristiwa tu aku dah tak ingat date, subject, the feeling on that, people involved, etc. 

And aku pun nak minta maaf kat diri sendiri sebab tak hargai apa yang aku ada. Sorry amalina,

So yeah, this is first in 2014.
Till later..
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